liberty, Uncategorized

The Bachelorette – First Impressions

As some of you may know, I am a huge Bachelor/Bachelorette fan.  Yes, I shout obscenities at the television each Monday.  Yes, I know it’s vain.  Yes, I know we only get a tiny glimpse into their complex lives, making rash judgments solely from the angle the producers choose to show, but each week I find myself eagerly anticipating the next episode.

So, this time I thought I would share the inner workings of my mind with you.  Pretty simple.  Pretty ordinary.  Pretty much sums me up.

Now, since I am kind o a rule follower, I didn’t want to just copy and paste the photos.  So, I made some slightly reprehensible, barely acceptable, artistic drawings of each of the characters on this show…  Please do forgive…


Of course, the host everyone loves to hate, Chris Harrison:

Chris Harrison

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and don’t forget, the one, the only, the beauty from Minnesota, BECCA!

scan

I admit that I barely passed first grade art class.  She deserves a way better portrait, but I’m short on time and talent…

The first contestant listed on the website, alphabetically by first name, is Alex:

Alex

Alex is a normal looking dude.

Blake

Then there’s Blake: He buttons his shirts alllll the way to the top.  That has to mean something.  I’ll have to stay tuned to find out I guess.

Chase.jpg

Chase: Chase kind of looks like an evil genius.  he has this look in his eye like he’s going to dare everybody around him to challenge him for some kind of mind game.  I hope I’m wrong.

Chris.jpg

Next up is Chris: He is about as opposite of Chris Harrison as you can get.  Half the age and much more, “tall, dark and handsome.”

Christian.jpg

Wowza.  Then there’s Christian.  I feel like he is either a super geek trying to get dolled up instead of embracing his nerd-style, or he’s maybe gonna be arrogant.  Time will tell.  Or maybe something more than a photo on a website will tell…

Christon.jpg

After Chris and Christian comes ChristON.  I feel like he probably has an earring I somehow missed drawing…or scribbling.  Whatever.

Clay.jpg

My friend is married to a guy named Clay and he’s real nice.  Maybe this Clay will be, too.

Colton.jpg

Colton is too cool for school.  Screw the tux and impossible to draw button up shirts and collars.  No, this guy is all leather jacket and suave.  Good move, Colton.  Good move.

Connor.jpg

Connor.  He looks like he just heard a really funny joke that was maybe a little mean and he’s not sure whether to laugh or not.  I want to say, “just laugh alrready!  Show the world those dimples”  but I’m also all like, “Don’t laugh, be nice!” but really, that’s maybe just his normal smile…

Darius.jpg

Then there’s Darius.  He hates the photographer, but don’t judge him.

David

Then there’s David.  He thinks he’s smarter than he is.  But maybe he’s smarter than he looks.

Garrett

He’s super happy to be here.  Yeah, baby!

Grant

Grant is going to woo you with those dimples.  You won’t have time to be nervous around him, because dimples.  You also might not hear what he’s saying.  Ahhh…. dimples.

 

 

Jake.jpg

Jake.  Watch out.  I think he might be cross eyed.  Or else he just takes bad pictures.  Either way, Watch.  Out.

Jason.jpg

Every time I see Jason’s picture, I just imagine Count Dracula – “One, two, three, count!” from Sesame Street.  I am not sure I can get over this mom thing… “Won’t you dance with me, doing the Batty Bat!?!”

Jean Blanc.jpg

Doesn’t appear to be much going on up top.  Keep walking.

Joe.jpg

I don’t know his occupation, but anyone who followed U.S. politics a few years ago will assume it’s a plumber.

John.jpg

Probably a pretty solid, friendly fellow.

Jordan.jpg

Jordan, with those white teeth and that booming smile, he’s going to last a while.

Kamil.jpg

With a name like Kamil, kan you go wrong?

Leo.jpg

I honestly didn’t know whether or not to draw him some ears…
Lincoln.jpg

He’s having fun.  and so is his hair.

Mike.jpg

About now I was pretty much over even trying to draw.  So much hair, a look that says he’s a good listener, and a bunch of hair.  Maybe hot if it’s like that guy from Survivor that climbed all the trees and won all the games.  Maybe not if it’s like your sister’s.  We’ll see.

Nick.jpg

“Hi.  My name’s Nick.  I’m a spoiled brat.” ~Nick.

Just kidding.  I made that up.

Rickey.jpg

Rickey reminds me of Eddie Murphy for some reason.  If he’s not funny I’ll be disappointed.

Ryan.jpg

He has this charming Boy Next Door look.  I just hope he does more with his life than, say, serve at Olive Garden or something.

Trent.jpg

Trent adults so hard.  He’s holding down a job, has a nice house in the suburbs and is looking for a pretty little wife to complete his life.  Or at least that’s my first impression of him.

Wills.jpg

Wills, he has quite the collar line.  Then when I try to get my eyes off the collar line, it is drawn to the hair up top.  He’s probably the nicest guy I’d have to say.  I couldn’t tell ya by looking at him…


Well, there it is.  My first impression of the cast for The Bachelorette, Becca’s Season.  Have a great night, and get rested up so you can adequately prepare yourself for tomorrow’s episode.

Now, go do “the damn thing!”

(Not my line, definitely Becca’s.  but we’re both from MN so she’ll probably be ok with that.) (Yeah, we live within like 200 miles of each other, so we’re basically sisters.) (Probably actually the only thing we have in common is our dark hair.  and hers probably isn’t stained with gray.)

Minnesota, represent!

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “The Bachelorette – First Impressions”

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