Ooh, my favorite. The little video vignettes they have of a few characters near the beginning of the show. I always feel like these are going to be the winners, since they took the time to shoot these extras, so I sip the imaginary wine and dine on imaginary strawberries as I watch the future, but happening now…
First up: Clay!
I’m trying to get over the way he annunciates everything because I really want to like the guy. He apparently invites his elderly relatives over for a meal, but they each do their absolute best to ignore the shit out of him. Either they are arrogant bastards or he staged the whole awkward thing. He just seems so nice, though!
Then there’s Garrett.
he seems very active, which is so ideal in a future partner – fun, strong, outgoing, knowledgeable, not afraid to tackle new things, etc. etc. etc. However, the funny voice impressions in the beginning make me wonder if he’s taking this whole journey seriously, or if it’s just all fun and games.
Then there’s Jordan. Oh, sweet, funny, genuine Jordan.
He’s so focused on himself, he hasn’t been able to share his perfection with others. *whole world cries* Give the guy a break, though, where’s he supposed to find the time when he has to go to the gym (year round), tan (YEAR round) and salt spray (YEAR. ROUND). It’s not easy to make the Pensive Gentleman brand look good.
Then comes Lincoln. We got to see this sweetheart as one of the live five, and now a video vignette. He’s definitely making the final three.
“Don’t forget where you come from and where you’re going.” Another heart for being so sentimental.
Joe Blow. Gonna Go. Hoooo (me).
As soon as I heard he owned a grocery store, I gave him the red ex. Bye Bye. Sianara. Adios. Not working for me.
Perfectly good food? TOSS THESE! NO GOOD! Perfectly good produce? TOSS THESE! NO GOOD! Perfectly good fruit? NO GOOD! TOSS THESE! (never mind these three categories are actually all the same thing. Grapes and the like: food, produce, fruit. I’m not very creative at this hour.)
Then Jean Blanc. or as I nicknamed him, Jean Blech.
“Smells like high school.” So you mean it smells like sweat and dirty gym clothes? No thanks. Probably lives in his mom’s basement so he can save money for fancy accoutrements or however the f you spell that.
I really wanted to give him a heart. He played football. When that didn’t work out, he started a charity inspired by his cousin’s illness. Now that is one hell of a way to try adulting. However, he stuck his hand up his dog’s butt more than once and I couldn’t help but feel bad for that senior lab…. 😦
Wowza. That’s a lot to take in. Now onto the limos!